To my wife on Valentine’s Day

This is our 36th Valentine’s Day, but it is easily the most delightful so far. When I first got to know you I was quite taken with you. Your warmth and care of others – ALL others – told me who you were inside. I was enchanted by your music – your voice seduced my heart. Your quick wit kept me smiling. Your beauty matched your heart, and your love for God drew me in like I had never been drawn to a woman before. It wasn’t long after I met you that I was under your spell and knew I wanted you as my wife.

Of course, I wasn’t alone – so many guys wanted you. And it wasn’t just because you were the concert singer who mesmerized people with your music. There were plenty of adoring fans, but so many guys who actually knew you wanted a special relationship with you. When I first approached you I felt like a spectator in the stands trying to get a date with a cheerleader on the field. But you were open to me and allowed me the chance to win your heart. Pursuit of your heart became my greatest quest.

As I pursued you I wasn’t ready for what would happen to me – I found myself changing. I hadn’t wanted to change – I liked who I was, but the closer I got to you the less I could remain the same. Before we ever said “I do,” you had already started to dismantle me.

You were so transparent – I was so protected. You were so real – I was so hidden behind walls. No one had ever tempted me out from behind my walls before, but you did it. The process was slow and frightening, but more than three decades later I am delighted to live with my walls down. The safety you have provided and joy of our closeness makes my life wonderful. Your acceptance has given me the gift of true intimacy.

With your example, and by the grace of God, it has only been in the last few years that I have learned the meaning of full acceptance. I have always delighted in you, but these days I embrace ALL that you are – your strengths as well as your weaknesses. As you know I have come to the theological conclusion that God accepts me at whatever stage of growth I am. I have discovered that He doesn’t postpone accepting me until I reach a certain place of maturity. He wants for me to grow into the image of His son, and will not rest until I am there, but He does not withhold his smile from me until I have reached His standard. Each day I walk not only aware that God loves me, but that he likes me. This has empowered me to completely accept you.

Wow! I didn’t know love could be like this!