Manisms

1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

3. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

4. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

5. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.

6. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

7. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

8. Only in situations of mortal and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the groin.

9. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

10. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

11. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

12. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

13. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

14. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing, i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

15. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

16. Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

17. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

We hope this clears up any confusion,